Friday, January 19, 2007
Trot Nixon Will Fucking Scalp You
An Excerpt From Trot Nixon's Forthcoming Memoir: My Life Among The Indians:
The customs are strange here. We woke with the sun at dawn, and rode our horses out to center field and gave thanks to the mighty god of the sky, who has rewarded our devotion with maze and fine, fat squaws. The chief painted my face honorably with what he said was the "...holy powder." I think it may have been that Gatorade mix that you put in water, but what're you gonna do?
After batting practice, we journeyed out into the forest. By this time I had had "the holy powder" in my system for quite a while and was beginning, I think, to feel its effects. I think this explains, mostly, my attempt to scalp Grady Sizemore, but I may have just been a little nervous and anxious to try and fit in with the rest of the guys.
We skinned and ate a stray dog we caught near the stadium's entrance to celebrate the harvest, and then retired to the clubhouse for some gambling and cursing of the white man. I think I like my new team.
Labels: MLB, Trot Nixon
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