OMGSports!

The Pittsburgh Penguins are still running into trouble in their attempts to convince the city to build them a new arena in which to play. The city, meanwhile, seems, well, hilariously unconcerned about their unprofitable, unloved, redheaded stepchild of a sports team's threats to ditch town.

"The Pittsburgh Penguins couldn't strike a deal for a new arena during a late-night negotiating session Thursday with Gov. Ed Rendell and local leaders, but a gubernatorial aide said an agreement could be reached soon. The Penguins' Mellon Arena lease expires at the end of the season, and the team has all but threatened to move to Kansas City, Mo., unless an agreement to build a new arena can be reached within the next few weeks.

Meeting for the second time in three weeks, the two sides didn't begin talking until Rendell arrived from Philadelphia at 9:15 p.m. EST, and the Penguins' representatives -- owner Mario Lemieux wasn't among them -- left less than two hours later. Rendell, Allegheny County chief executive Dan Onorato and Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl met for another hour, but Rendell aide Chuck Ardo said the Penguins' early exit wasn't a sign the talks didn't go well."

OMGSports ran an informal survey of hockey fans in the Pittsburgh area, to see precisely what their thoughts were on the team's continuing negotiations with the city. Here are the responses of the three fans that could be found:

1) Bill R: "Who're we talking about, again? The Steelers, right? Yeah, Big Ben's crazy, huh? Go Steelers, ha ha!"

2) Sandy B: "How did you get this number? I'm hanging up now and I'm calling the fucking police if you don't stop this heavy breathing shit, you fucking creep."

3) Tim G: "GRETZKY! GRETZKY IS GOD!"

Labels: NHL, Pittsburgh Penguins

An Excerpt From Trot Nixon's Forthcoming Memoir: My Life Among The Indians:

The customs are strange here. We woke with the sun at dawn, and rode our horses out to center field and gave thanks to the mighty god of the sky, who has rewarded our devotion with maze and fine, fat squaws. The chief painted my face honorably with what he said was the "...holy powder." I think it may have been that Gatorade mix that you put in water, but what're you gonna do?

After batting practice, we journeyed out into the forest. By this time I had had "the holy powder" in my system for quite a while and was beginning, I think, to feel its effects. I think this explains, mostly, my attempt to scalp Grady Sizemore, but I may have just been a little nervous and anxious to try and fit in with the rest of the guys.

We skinned and ate a stray dog we caught near the stadium's entrance to celebrate the harvest, and then retired to the clubhouse for some gambling and cursing of the white man. I think I like my new team.

Labels: MLB, Trot Nixon

Sammy Sosa got offered a spot on the Rangers' minor league team. Here's a list of the sort of competition he'll be facing for a spot on the major league roster.

1) Several tumbleweeds.
2) Sandra, the blind girl who lives underneath the bleachers.
3) Jose Canseco.
4) A stray dog laying in right field who may or may not be conscious.

Good luck, Sammy! Thanks for saving Major League Baseball!

Labels: MLB, Sammy Sosa, Texas Rangers