OMGSports!

In news that frustratingly reminds the world that there are professional cyclists, it seems that Floyd Landis may not have been doping, after all.

"Landis was accused of doping after the urine tests indicated he had an improper testosterone ratio and suggested the presence of artificial testosterone. He faces a two-year ban and being officially stripped of his Tour de France title if the results are upheld.

The French laboratory that handled the test results may have allowed improper access to Landis' urine samples, the newspaper reported, citing records that had been turned over to the cyclist's defense. A similar lapse in protocol previously has resulted in doping cases against athletes being dismissed.

According to the report, two technicians who conducted the "A" sample on Landis were involved in tests on the second "B" sample, which is used to confirm the first test. International lab standards do not allow the same technicians to work on both tests to prevent them from attempting to validate their original findings.

Doping allegations against Spanish cyclist Inigo Landaluze were dismissed late last year when it was discovered the same lab made a similar error with his tests in 2005."

If you're a police officer, and you shoot someone and then say that somebody else did it, and that gets found out, chances are you're not going to be asked to lead the homicide unit, right?

So could someone please explain why scientists who very publicly fucked up a doping investigation already were asked to lead the investigation on a possible cheating Tour De France winner?

Also, how long before we start putting land mines on the Tour De France course? Let's spice things up a little, please.

Labels: Cycling, Floyd Landis, Steroids, Tour De France

The University of Cincinnati is enduring some controversy at the moment, headlined by allegations that football recruits were wooed by parties featuring SEX ACTS and ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES. Ladies and gentlemen, fire up the puritan outrage machine!

"The allegations reportedly came from an anonymous letter dated Feb. 14 that was sent to UC president Nancy Zimpher, Daniel Cummins, the director of judicial affairs, and Barbara Rinto, the director of the UC Women's Center. The note was signed, "A Concerned Athletic Department Employee" according to the reports.

The Cincinnati Post reported that according to the letter, there were four University of Cincinnati football players and four football recruits allegedly involved in the incident. The Cincinnati Enquirer reported that the letter said the sex acts took place during a party at which alcohol was served, the sex acts were videotaped and the tapes have been circulated in UC dormitories."

I'd comment negatively on these allegations, because clearly sex and alcohol have no place on a college campus - especially those, like the University of Cincinnati, that are constructed entirely out of baby angels and virtue - in this day and age. The only problem is that I'm just far too busy filling out my transfer application to The University of Cincinnati.

Me likey the sauce and the poon.

Red Sox slugger Manny Ramirez (pictured above, charmingly befuddled and lost in a Kansas cornfield where he is believed, according to Sox officials, "...to be off chasing something shiny.") will not report to Spring Training on time. This is according to dickweed target of fan hatred fan favorite Julian Tavarez, who says that Manny is off tending to his mother while she goes under the knife for some surgery.

""He's been going through a tough time because of his mom; they told her that she had a tumor and it wasn't a tumor, but she had surgery between her ribs and she's home right now recovering and Manny's out there with his mom," Tavarez told MLB.com.

Tavarez told MLB.com that both Ramirez and his mother are both currently in Weston, Fla.

Boston's manager, Terry Francona, said this was news to him, according to The Boston Globe."

Surgery "between the ribs" is rumored amongst doctors to be the most difficult surgery in all of the annals of medicine, trailing only Partial Brain Implosionoscopy in terms of sheer difficulty.

Sox manager Terry Francona, meanwhile, vowed to members of the media to "...finally get around to putting a fucking bell on Manny. He gets lost every goddamn five minutes; I can't leave him alone without worrying he'll wander off after a interesting-looking piece of trash and then forget to eat for four days."

Labels: Manny Ramirez, MLB, Red Sox, Terry Francona