OMGSports!

The Red Sox committed roughly the combined gross national product of the entire European Union to free agents JD Drew and Julio Lugo, says Boston Globe reporting monkey Gordon Edes.

"Agent Scott Boras confirmed yesterday that the Sox had completed a five-year, $70 million deal for outfielder J.D. Drew, who almost certainly will bat fifth and play right field. Then, late last night, the Sox struck a four-year, $36 million deal for their No. 1 target at shortstop, Julio Lugo, the onetime Tampa Bay Devil Ray whose glove is vastly inferior to that of departing shortstop Alex Gonzalez but who gives Francona a dynamic, speedy offensive player who projects to bat leadoff or second."

There are several things I like to avoid seeing when I'm reading an article about my favorite baseball team. Firstly, the phrase "all perished in a horrific, fiery plane crash that, ironically, ended directly in the center of Fenway Park." The second phrase is "Scott Boras." I'm not a priest or a holy man of any sort, but I can tell you with 100% certainty that Scott Boras is a qualified deputy of the Lord of Darkness, and has been known to celebrate the signing of lucrative contracts by his clientele by drinking the preserved blood of the baby Jesus.

It's where he gets his power.

In all seriousness, I'm a fan of JD Drew (pictured above, saying the following: "MEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"). 20+ homers, 100+ rbis, another athelete in the outfield seems a pretty significant upgrade from Mr. Trot "Always Seemingly Just Arrived From A Barfight" Nixon. I'd love to see Trot kick someone in the teeth, granted, but he played approximately 1 1/2 games last year, while spenidng the rest of his time refining his ability to strike-out and kill momentum and his tobacco-chewing prowess.

Julio Lugo, on the other hand, is, my research staff tells me, "an old guy." He may or may not still use a walker and, some scouts report, actually requires full-time dialysis in order to, you know, not die. He is in reality 31, but $36 mill still seems like an awful lot to pay a guy who flounded with the Dodgers over the last two months of the season. You're hitting .255 with a team in a relatively big market in the middle of a penant race? And you want to come to Boston? Really?

Labels: JD Drew, Julio Lugo, Red Sox