OMGSports!

Brett Favre came a terrifying inch closer to securing a completely undeserved playoff birth for the Packers by beating the Vikings last night, 9-7. The game, which approximately all thirty-three subscribers to the NFL network were able to watch, featured an intriguing matchup of Favre and Vikings' rookie QB Tavaris Jackson. Sadly, this match-up turned out to be the rough equivalent of a 97 year-old man fighting an infant, because neither of them appeared to have the slightest goddamn clue what they were doing. Favre threw 2 picks while going 25 for 50, and Jackson gained a mind-numbing 50 yards passing on 10 for 20.

Honestly, at some point, Brett has to die of natural causes. And we'll think that that's the end, but the sheer power of his will and the black magic of John Madden's long-standing man crush will keep just alive enough that the Packers' offensive line can keep dragging him around Lambeau, face-down on the grass, pissing, shitting, and moaning incoherently. And he'll still manage 10-15 touchdowns, because, hey, he's fucking Brett Favre and he's the best football player in history, even half-dead, unconscious, and unable to control his bowels.

I think his bowels might manage a better completion percentage than Tavaris Jackson.

Labels: Brett Favre, NFL