OMGSports!

As what we can only assume is part of his lifelong effort to convince us that he is in fact the King Of Crazytown, Sacramento Kings forward Ron Artest is in trouble for smacking around a girl. Bravo, Ron, bravo - that's the manly way to win street cred these days.

"Sacramento Kings forward Ron Artest slapped a woman's face and grabbed her repeatedly, causing visible injuries, according to a sheriff's report made public Tuesday.

Artest was arrested Monday after a woman inside his home in a Sacramento suburb called 911 and said she had been assaulted. In a portion of the 911 tape released by authorities, the woman described injuries to her hand and leg."

That sounds bad enough, but even that disturbing description is nothing compared to the startling transcript of the 911 call regarding the incident. OMGSports was lucky enough to obtain a copy of that transcript, which is reprinted verbatim below:

Ron Artest Domestic Violence 911 Call Transcript
Dispatch: This is 911, what is your emergency?
Caller: RON RON BE BEATIN' THE HOTFOOT TO CRAZYLAND!
Dispatch: Miss, are you hurt? Is someone hurting you? Where are you located?
Caller: IT'S RON RON! HE BE BEATIN ME WITH A BAT!
Dispatch: Someone is hitting you with a baseball bat? I've notified the police, m'aam, and they can be on their way if you can give me your location.
Caller: RON RON BE BEATIN' ME WITH A BASEBALL BAT! AND IT'S ON FIRE! AND IT'S GOT LAVA!
Dispatch: I'm sorry? Please repeat what you just said, m'aam.
Caller: RON RON GOT THE BURNIN' BASEBALL LAVA BAT OF JESUS! OH, LORD, THE LAVA BAT! HIS HORNS ARE COMIN' OUT!
Dispatch: M'aam, I can't understand you.
Caller: HIS DEVIL HORNS! THEY COMIN' OUT HIS HEAD WHILE HE BE BEATIN' ME! OH LORD I'M IMPALED ON TOP OF HIS DEVIL HORNS! HE BE SHAKIN' ME AROUND IN THE AIR ON HIS DEVIL HORNS AND HITTIN' ME WITH THE LAVA BAT! OH LORD!
Dispatch: Ron Ron is beating you to death with a burning, lava-encrusted baseball bat while you lay impaled on massive devil horns growing out of his skull?
Caller: Yes.

Labels: NBA, Ron Artest