OMGSports!

At a recent press conference, former Patriots LB Ted Johnson blamed coach Bill Belichick for ignoring his medical problems and eventually causing him to suffer extensive, life-altering injuries.

"Johnson, who helped the Patriots win three Super Bowl titles before retiring two years ago, told The New York Times that a collision with another player during that 2002 practice led to another concussion. And, after sustaining additional concussions over the next three seasons, he now forgets people's names, misses appointments and suffers from depression and an addiction to amphetamines.

"There's something wrong with me," Johnson, 34, told the Times in a story posted on its Web site Thursday night. "There's something wrong with my brain. And I know when it started.""

Johnson then ripped off his pressed khaki pants, revealing a large vagina, whose outer lips began to flap violently along with Johnson's increasingly frantic explanations. "Is this what a man looks like?!?" Johnson screamed in a high-pitched, hysterical voice, tears forming at the corners of his distinctly feminine eyes. "I can barely look at myself in the mirror anymore," he blubbered, spinning around slowly in circles so that the flaps of his giant, disgusting vagina swung out at his sides and sprayed the assembled crowd of reporters with several hundred pounds of unidentified fluid.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" He shouted.

In response, Patriots coach Bill Belichick looked blankly into a camera and muttered, "Who the fuck is Ted Johnson?"

Labels: Bill Belichick, New England Patriots, NFL, Ted Johnson