Thursday, December 7, 2006
Mediocre Pitchers Have Enough Money To Have You Killed
Almost-competent pitchers across the Major Leagues got fuckin' paiiiiiiiiid yesterday, dude. It's official, Jason Schmidt and Ted Lilly can both go ahead and start construction on their solid-gold palaces and get those grillz they've been hoping for. The two of them - who were a combined 26-22 last year, just in case anyone's actually wondering - signed deals worth a combined $87 million yesterday.
I realize I shouldn't criticize free-spending, as my favorite team just threw a combined $106 million at two guys who had trouble fitting in on the fucking Dodgers last year. That aside, I can't help but wonder if anyone reminded the Cubs of Lilly's history of, oh, I don't know, GETTING INTO FISTFIGHTS WITH HIS MANAGER:
"In August, Lilly exchanged words on the mound with Toronto manager John Gibbons during a pitching change and it turned physical a few minutes later in a tunnel leading from the dugout. While both men said no punches were thrown, Gibbons wound up with a bloody nose after the scuffle during the third inning of a 12-10 loss to the Oakland Athletics."
Bet that won't come up when he's playing for obvious crazy person Lou Piniella. By the way, in case you were doubting the validity of that claim, well, just check how much of a fan favorite he already is in Cubs-town: fireloupiniella.net. Honestly, the downfall of the Cubs gets more and more entertaining every year. The only way this could possibly get better is if someone just hung a machete from the ceiling of the Cubs' dugout before every home game. Once August comes around and the Cubbies are 45 games below .500, go ahead and try to tell me that no one's eyeing that blade.
Gooooooo Cubs!
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